It's Kristen's birthday today. Most of the time when I think about her I think "Kristen Marie Lives in a Tree." Sometimes a Raffi song pops into my head and I don't know why it reminds me of her. "Willaby Wallaby Wisten, an elephant sat on Kristen, Willaby Wallaby, Wooah,..." I don't think he even sings "Kristen" in the actual song... Usually I make her cheesecake from the recipe she gave me on her birthday and I can't today. I feel like I don't have anyone to share it with. I wish I were in Logan so I could go eat chips and salsa at Cafe Sabore and remember the last time we ate there together; she refused to eat the chips because she was on Suzzane Somer's diet. She was very proud of herself for sticking to that diet. I offered to not get the chips because they were her favorite and she thought that would be dumb for me to not enjoy them. I want to watch the DVD the funeral home gave us and I don't know if I can. She would be 25 today because I am 27. It's funny how I still remember my siblings' ages by how old I am. My age - 2 years, unless it's between August and December, then it's 3 years. I still have some of her clothes. I like to wear them because I feel a little bit more like her. I like remembering things about her that I feel most other people don't know. I haven't watched Love Actually since she's been gone. It will make me cry too hard. I'm afraid of some things like that. Like actually buying any Norah Jones CDs, even though I love to think of her and listen to them on the internet. So I should add... I found some bravery and watched both the CD of pictures of her and Audrey Hepburn's Breakfast at Tiffany's. Even if I didn't feel too happy on the happy birthday, I did enjoy remembering her and doing at least one thing we would have done together- next step: making cheesecake and watching Love Actually.
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