and she has NO IDEA

they are playing and giggling- attempting to do handstands underwater, her little skinny brown legs kicking just at the surface. she never makes it into the full handstand.

she has NO IDEA what i am going through so that they can play with their Littlest Pet Shops in the pool. and she has NO IDEA that right this minute i am SCREAMING OBSCENITIES IN MY HEAD. of which i will spare you, just know that they are some serious obscenities. words i have never said in front of my mother. at least they are remaining, for the most part, in my head. just a few of them tumbling out in little mumbled whispers so that the other parents at the pool won't give me dirty looks and run screaming from the pool dragging along their children and covering their ears.

why all of the screaming in my head? i am on the brink of insanity. the brink.

the wind blew my pens off of my paper. pens, plural. it was strong enough to blow them off of my one loose sheet of paper. this vile act of God allowed the wind to blow my paper into the pool. i was aware of this possibility and was carefully holding the paper while i transferred data from my client's binder onto the paper. this is a tracking paper that i will have to completely RE-DO. joe called and i let go of it, setting 2 pens on top of it to answer the phone. 2 pens. 2 pens are not weighty enough, apparently. joe you did this.

luckily, eliza and her friend were taking a break from swimming and were standing by my table when this happened. her friend ran and jumped toward the paper in the pool, attempting to save my important work. it's not saved. you can't save chlorine pool soaked and crumpled papers with important dates on them.

the wind is still blowing. i have a scowl on my face. which i better stop NOW or i will get unsightly wrinkles in between my eyes. the scowl wrinkles i have been avoiding by wearing sunglasses at all times.

the pool transformed from a slightly unbearable pit of despair to a monstrosity that only belongs in the fiery depths of HELL. there are now teenages throughout the entire pool. LOUD teenagers banging boogie boards over their little brothers' heads. F@#*king monstrosity. Damn you all. STOP HAVING FUN AT MY EXPENSE! DON'T YOU KNOW MY VERY IMPORTANT PAPER AND MY HAIR IS RUINED?!?

she just brought me another scrap of my paper.

are you laughing? are the heavens laughing?!

why are there children laughing at the pool? SHUT UP! STOP IT! NOOOOWW!