hello world

It is FOUR IN THE MORNING.

I cannot sleep. CANNOT SLEEP.

I have not fallen asleep. I went to bed at 12:15.

My eyelids are heavy, but my mind and body HATE ME.
The rhythmic, periodic breeze from the ceiling fan keeps me awake. What if I fall asleep and miss the next little puff of air? Joe's rarely snores, but of course, tonight he does. Someone is cutting down a tree IN MY EAR. My own heartbeat is now drumming so loudly that I cannot hear anything else, besides joe's snoring and the beating of my own heart and the ticking of the clock outside the room and Eliza's breathing on the other side of the apartment. HEEEEELP!

I am eating a bowl of the cheap version of Honey Smacks, hoping that it will make me sleep.
The logic in this? There is NONE. but they're smackeringly delicious.

I started taking an antidepressant again. To prevent the inevitable decline and descent into HELL. I was feeling fine, until I wanted to throw things against the wall. or at people.

Apparently the cost of sanity is the side effect of INSOMNIA, which does not work out well for me.